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I'm currently writing a Sci-Fi novel The Enixion Chronicles. If anyone has any advice for an upstart writer I'd love to hear it. If anyone would like a cameo appearance in the book, drop me a PM. PS. Furries rule!!

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The first little snippet.

2008-06-10 11:56:29 by sentinalh

So I decided to post this, what I consider the first complete passage of chapter 1. This is the beginning of the book it takes place before the teaser I posted earlier. It introduces the first two important characters and, I think, demonstrates the emotional side of this work. For those of you who liked the teaser, I hope you like this.
How long? How long have I been on this ship? Where is it taking us? These were the thoughts crossing the boys minds as they hurtled through space. About 13 boys ranging in age from 10 to 19 had been stuffed inside a cargo vessel bound for who knows where. The older boys were trying to comfort the younger ones and keep them from crying, a futile effort. Many of the youngest captives hadn't stopped balling since they were wrenched from their parents grasps hours ago. At least it felt like hours, out here there was no sense of time only the humming of engines above them and the crying of children around them. How many more were on this same vessel? Hundreds, thousands, none of them knew. Only one of the boys had any information, the eldest was called Jet and he seemed to know what was waiting for them.
"Ya want me to tell you all again? Help keep your mind on somethin?" This was Jet, he constantly tried to keep the others interested in something even if it was their destination. "Well I will anyway. About 10 months back me and my sis were playin out back on our time off. My sis, a beautiful little girl smart too, only 7 when they took er. We were nobodies see, owned a farm and thats it. So they told us somethin of where she was headed. There's this huge place see, far out in space where they take everyone they capture. Once ya get there they give ya a number and put ya in a holdin cell, a lot like this I think. They keep ya well fed so there's no reason to worry bout starvin. Then if they need ya they come and get ya, and they put ya back when they're done. Nothin to worry bout see?"
"What do they do with you?" This voice hadn't been heard in the hold the entire trip, it was that of an 18 year old. A handsome young boy with a thin frame and well kept appearance, probably the son of a high ranking official. He had dark hair and wore a light brown shirt with black fitted pants and silver shoes.
"What do ya mean?"
"When they take you away, what do they do with you?" This had Jet puzzled, he didn't know of course but what was there to fear; certainly they wouldn't hurt you.
"I don't rightly know, but it ain't nothin to worry bout."
"How can you say that?" The boy had turned away from the wall now and was facing the whole group as he spoke. "They took us from our homes and parents, ripped us from their grasp as they begged our captors for our release. They threw us in here, shut the doors and took off without so much as a word. How naive do you have to be to assume that what they have planned for us is any less terrible?" The others in the compartment just sat there, eying each other as the crying returned with renewed strength. Somehow their families seemed even farther away after this speech.
"Hey man please, you're scarin the kids and we're all just tryin to stay positive alright." Jet frantically tried to repair the situation, to calm the kids and keep them all from panic, it wasn't working.
"Well they should be scared, they need to do a life's worth of growing up in a matter of hours in order to survive this. You all need to realize that there is no going back, we'll probably live the rest of our lives in this facility of theirs. Probably undergoing horrible experiments on top of whatever labor they need done."
"Hey the Dominion aint cruel enough to hurt children, they've left us alone for the most part. They just want what's best for themselves and us."
"They conquered the freaking galaxy you imbecile! They came with ships and bombed our cities, they destroyed our satellites and took down our communications! They've enslaved our planet and now they've enslaved us! You think you're the only one who's lost a sibling to these monsters!? Try losing your entire family and see how upbeat and cheerful you are!" His face was glowing and he was breathing heavily as sweat and tears mingled on his cheeks and ran down his neck. He collapsed into his hands as he began to sob, his steely resolve had been shattered by his own outburst. It seemed they were all on the breaking point, even the older boys were not above crying. Without a word Jet made his way across the dimly lit hold and sat down next to the now crying 18 year old. He made no sound, said nothing, just put his arms around him and held him tight. It was a strange feeling they all had, before this none of them would even have hugged their own brothers, now they were comforting complete strangers.
Let me know how you liked it and feel free to suggest anything you think I might improve on.